It’s been a rough and overwhelming few weeks and I haven’t been able to post in advance or even keep up with the postings and I apologize for that. Anyone who deals with these issues on a regular basis certainly understands that even with the best made plans…it’s still very unpredictable. Things can simply appear wonderful, but in reality it’s an entirely different story.
I did have a vacation planned with a dear friend and family I’ve known since age 14. As time approached I just couldn’t get myself organized or packed. I owe this issue partly trying to do too many things (a picnic and a vacation a week apart).
I know that sounds ridiculous, but that’s simply how it is…and I’m not alone. There are millions of people out there encountering the same issues, and they think they are alone! And in my case this is decades after the most significant brain injury I’ve endured that was the onset of these problems. I mention this because if you have a friend or a loved one in this situation, do not simply expect that things are normal…EVER!
They too want to be back to “normal” more than you do! They are not “using” the injury or “milking” the injury…they just can’t, and when they can…they do, ALL THE TIME! It’s not that they believe they can’t. They believe they can, that get’s them into difficult situations. The “I Can” attitude works many times in positive ways, but it also sets unrealistic goals that puts the individual on an emotional roller-coaster.
Everything seemed to spiral out-of-control. It takes days to recover from one event. So as I reflect on the past couple weeks I realize I can’t even begin thinking about another event until I totally recover from the first. So…I CAN plan events but they need to be about a month apart. Doing so earlier, sets one up for failure.
I’ve never taken this type of self-reflection until I began posting. This is what I have just learned: Do NOT plan more then one thing in a month without significant help with all the planning. If I had time to recover from the one event, I might have had the opportunity to pull it all together for the next event. I didn’t allow this for myself.
Because I didn’t allow this time, I found I was unable to pack. I was able to follow the lists for groceries as I had help with that…but this didn’t allow for physical or mental rest. Without rest it’s hard to accomplish much. My dear friend and family did stop by, helped by driving my vehicle with their vehicle to our destination…their family farm!
I did well away from the daily distractions. I observed others with greater difficulty in different areas of health and am offering suggestions. In the meantime, I’d like to mention how the scenery and company was beautiful with friendships and family.
It was amazing to share in some child experiences with a beautiful young soul of nearly 5 years of age. We played “detective”, and the “investigator role” searching the attic, basement, and farm for clues. These terms changed to be his terms as the “explorers”!
What a fun time that was. He tied me up, duct-taped me, and guarded me as a prisoner! He was chef, and I ordered from his restaurant consistently! He roasted marshmallows for everyone…made to order! He played with new puppies “Snoopy” and “Belle” and the older dog “Shaky”. I encouraged ways to get the dogs to follow him.
What a beautiful imagination he has…and I was invited into his life to enjoy imagery as well. Rather than play cards that have rules to follow with the adults I found it easier to play our own dice game and follow this little guys rules. He made them up as we played. We rolled the imaginary dice, and called out the numbers! I think the adults were having more fun watching us play our game than they were with their cards and wine!
This just reminds me that it is the simple things in life that matter. I’ve always loved children and that has never changed. I am blessed to have the love for children in my heart and soul, and so blessed I never lost that love. These are children of the children I always loved dearly. I thank them, and my dear friends for sharing another opportunity to join them.
Three Well Beings
July 17, 2012 at 11:32 am
It is really a challenge to even begin to understand how hard it is to sequence and move through many steps in back to back events. You do such a good job of describing how it feels to you, though, and I’m appreciative. As much as I want to understand for my two friends with TBI I simply can’t know what it’s like for them. You do help me with my own patience in this matter! But I do understand the therapeutic aspects of being with young children…always, always makes me a more relaxed and thoughtful individual. They simply bring delight! 🙂 Wishing you well this week!! Debra
brain injury self rehabilitation (BISR)
July 17, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Thanks for the well wishes and I’m “moving right along” as in Kermit the Frog song! It’s out of character that I share the down-side and it appears that I have everything together…not so true though. I thought awhile whether I should post at all, then I decided if I don’t share the difficult times when I’m falling apart I could not provide accurate insight and be as helpful to others. I would be doing a disservice to others who need help and understanding. It’s good to know what a delight children are in so many lives. Let’s keep enjoying the little ones! Edie
July 19, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Edie, this is just beautiful…
In His love,
brain injury self rehabilitation (BISR)
July 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Maria, You always have such kind words and I know you really mean it. Blessings, Take care and stay safe, Edie